Most of you know I worked in the admissions department at ACU for 5 years. I had several interested things happen to me during my tenure, but perhaps none more disturbing than my accidental peak into, then subsequent taunting by, the secret society of campus squirrels (SSCS).
Have you ever wondered why ACU has so many squirrels? How they seem so bold, like they run the joint? It's because they are union.
What I am about to share with you may put my very life in jeopardy. I write this with the blinds closed and my doors locked. I can only hope they haven't figured out how to access the internet or that they aren't gnawing through my cable wires as I sit here unaware in the safety of my home.
It started on a beautiful Spring day, not unlike yesterday. I was helping escort visitors to their appointments for the campus visits office. As we approached McKenzie Hall, a squirrel ran out to the end of the big wooden cross. One of the visitors pointed to this fluffy creature, and said look how cute. At that point I looked up and our eyes locked. It was as if the world was suddenly in slow motion. I think he thought I could read his mind. Suddenly, he began lurching forward and barking, this loud, shrieking, high-pitched and rabid bark. We all jumped back. I immediately led the family away from this obviously deranged squirrel. He continued to bark at us until we were safely inside Foster Science building. I remember our quick pace as we silently rushed to the building. I remember my heart pounding, wondering if he'd be there on my solitary return. I decided to take an alternate route back...I didn't want to find out. I was troubled by this incident throughout the day. I couldn't get that squirrel's knowing and fixed gaze out of my head.
A couple days passed and as the trauma began to fade, I resumed my normal behavior. I typically left for lunch alone and I was usually somewhat in my own world thinking about everything I needed to get done, etc. On this particular day I remember I was walking with my head down, deep in thought. The next thing I saw was...a squirrel. Yes, a squirrel. Right there in front of me, on the sidewalk on my way to the parking lot. He stood there, frozen in this challenging stance, all four feet firmly planted on the sidewalk, as if to say, "Walk around, this is my sidewalk". I mean he was maybe a foot from my foot. Again, mistakenly, I made eye contact. The world again slowed way down. We stared, frozen, neither of us moving. Suddenly, I had a flashback to the barking and the rabid lurching, and my adrenaline started pumping. I thought, don't be like the dumb kids in a horror movie! Get off the path! So, I walked around. He didn't move. In my head, I could sense him saying "Boo!"
Needless to say, at this point I am somewhat freaked out by our campus squirrels. My awareness of them was keenly heightened. They seemed to be everywhere, chattering, mocking me, taunting me not to share their secret.
The following week I was on the first floor of Zellner fixing my morning coffee. The coffee is located under the stairwell beside a big glass exterior door that faces McKenzie Hall. If your wondering, yes, it faces the big wooden cross. I was tearing open a packet of creamer when I heard a knocking sound. I look around and didn't see anything so I continued my ritual. Next, I tore open a sugar packet. Again, I heard a rapping, an ever so slight rapping upon a door. This time I didn't turn my head. I just moved my eyes to the right, then to the left. My heart began to thump in my chest and I couldn't explain to myself why the reaction. I reached for a stir stick, then I heard a "Rap, tap, tap". This time I turned my whole body and looked out the door. Surely, someone wants to come in! I looked and no one was there. I stared in disbelief. Am I hearing things? All of a sudden I had this intense feeling I was being watched. I stood there looking through the glass. Do I dare? Do I dare look down? I dared. Slowly I allowed my gaze to move down the pane of the glass door. There at the bottom, back feet firmly planted on pavement, and front paws defiantly pushing against the door, each pad pressed with confidence against the glass...was a squirrel! I jumped! I mean literally, jumped. I did not dare make eye contact. I put my head down, backed away, then, I threw caution, and my coffee, to the wind, and ran up the stairs.
It took over an hour to regain my composure. Not only was it disturbing...I knew no one would ever believe I was being stalked by squirrels. That was my last encounter with this secret society. I only hope I haven't angered them.
God bless & whatever you do, DO NOT make eye contact with the squirrels!
Have you ever wondered why ACU has so many squirrels? How they seem so bold, like they run the joint? It's because they are union.
What I am about to share with you may put my very life in jeopardy. I write this with the blinds closed and my doors locked. I can only hope they haven't figured out how to access the internet or that they aren't gnawing through my cable wires as I sit here unaware in the safety of my home.
It started on a beautiful Spring day, not unlike yesterday. I was helping escort visitors to their appointments for the campus visits office. As we approached McKenzie Hall, a squirrel ran out to the end of the big wooden cross. One of the visitors pointed to this fluffy creature, and said look how cute. At that point I looked up and our eyes locked. It was as if the world was suddenly in slow motion. I think he thought I could read his mind. Suddenly, he began lurching forward and barking, this loud, shrieking, high-pitched and rabid bark. We all jumped back. I immediately led the family away from this obviously deranged squirrel. He continued to bark at us until we were safely inside Foster Science building. I remember our quick pace as we silently rushed to the building. I remember my heart pounding, wondering if he'd be there on my solitary return. I decided to take an alternate route back...I didn't want to find out. I was troubled by this incident throughout the day. I couldn't get that squirrel's knowing and fixed gaze out of my head.
A couple days passed and as the trauma began to fade, I resumed my normal behavior. I typically left for lunch alone and I was usually somewhat in my own world thinking about everything I needed to get done, etc. On this particular day I remember I was walking with my head down, deep in thought. The next thing I saw was...a squirrel. Yes, a squirrel. Right there in front of me, on the sidewalk on my way to the parking lot. He stood there, frozen in this challenging stance, all four feet firmly planted on the sidewalk, as if to say, "Walk around, this is my sidewalk". I mean he was maybe a foot from my foot. Again, mistakenly, I made eye contact. The world again slowed way down. We stared, frozen, neither of us moving. Suddenly, I had a flashback to the barking and the rabid lurching, and my adrenaline started pumping. I thought, don't be like the dumb kids in a horror movie! Get off the path! So, I walked around. He didn't move. In my head, I could sense him saying "Boo!"
Needless to say, at this point I am somewhat freaked out by our campus squirrels. My awareness of them was keenly heightened. They seemed to be everywhere, chattering, mocking me, taunting me not to share their secret.
The following week I was on the first floor of Zellner fixing my morning coffee. The coffee is located under the stairwell beside a big glass exterior door that faces McKenzie Hall. If your wondering, yes, it faces the big wooden cross. I was tearing open a packet of creamer when I heard a knocking sound. I look around and didn't see anything so I continued my ritual. Next, I tore open a sugar packet. Again, I heard a rapping, an ever so slight rapping upon a door. This time I didn't turn my head. I just moved my eyes to the right, then to the left. My heart began to thump in my chest and I couldn't explain to myself why the reaction. I reached for a stir stick, then I heard a "Rap, tap, tap". This time I turned my whole body and looked out the door. Surely, someone wants to come in! I looked and no one was there. I stared in disbelief. Am I hearing things? All of a sudden I had this intense feeling I was being watched. I stood there looking through the glass. Do I dare? Do I dare look down? I dared. Slowly I allowed my gaze to move down the pane of the glass door. There at the bottom, back feet firmly planted on pavement, and front paws defiantly pushing against the door, each pad pressed with confidence against the glass...was a squirrel! I jumped! I mean literally, jumped. I did not dare make eye contact. I put my head down, backed away, then, I threw caution, and my coffee, to the wind, and ran up the stairs.
It took over an hour to regain my composure. Not only was it disturbing...I knew no one would ever believe I was being stalked by squirrels. That was my last encounter with this secret society. I only hope I haven't angered them.
God bless & whatever you do, DO NOT make eye contact with the squirrels!
Gretchen
3 comments:
that is hilarious and a little disturbing that you are stalked by squirrels
that is hilarious! and those squirrels are crazy.
That is absolutely a hoot of a story. Thanks for posting it and for that awesome picture of the squirrel there on the left. Am passing it on to friends!
Hinson
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