Last night I came to face to face with the reality that I'm only a breath away or a word away from acting like my mother.
My precious 10 year daughter has autism. This disorder helps to explain some of the oddities of her personality or her behavior. However, it does not automatically make me an excellent parent of a child with autism. It does not make me an expert. In fact, I realize on a daily basis how little I know, how impatient I am, and how selfish I am. I find myself not doing the things I know I should do, and doing the things I know I should not do. I begin my day with Good intentions, and close my day with a petition to the Lord to forgive my many slip ups & and a chance to try again the next day.
I began this blog with the intention of explaining my opening sentence. However, I no longer feel inspired to do so. I'm not sure if it's laziness or if I just want to ponder the reality of my behavior a bit longer. If you are reading this then I have a question for you. Who is it that you try not to emulate? Who is it you try to emulate? Do you ever find yourself living out the reverse of your intentions? Just some random, hopefully thought-provoking questions for you today.
Perhaps later I'll post my additional thoughts on the matter.
Blessings to you.
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2 comments:
HMMM who do I try to emulate and who do I try not to? I don't know that I've ever really thought about it. There are definately (who knows how to spell that word?) people that I look up to and would like to have some of the traits of their personalities more apparent in my life. As far as not wanting to emulate well half the time I wish I wasn't emulating my habits and traits that I want to change but I guess that is kind of the point of the title "Good intentions versus reality"
If I could follow through with all my "good intentions" and if all of "my good intentions" were really good and not selfish I would have no choice but to be the most satisfied, fulfilled, content, giving person on the face of this earth. Too bad that is not reality.
Parenting is hard. I'm not a parent but I know it is hard. Period. But so rewarding. Period. The text you sent me "God grant me the serenity..." I think more than anything that speaks to your heart that you do have good intentions and while maybe that isn't always the reality in which we function in when you are functioning out of the giving loving heart you have knowing that tomorrow is a new day full of God's grace and wisdom - then you can't help but me the amazing parent and friend you are!!
by the way please tell me this is not John Deere equipment in this picture!!!
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