Other side of the window

October 15th was the one year mark of the death of Cassie, my cousin's daughter. This was the first of many losses my family would suffer over a 12 month period. I remember being awestruck as a line of people wrapped around the block waiting to show their respect to Cassie and to her parents. I watched as people I loved and people I never met were brought to their knees in grief and incomprehensible sorrow. It was one of many moments this year that I had to ask, "Why?"
I am very blessed to be close to my mom's side of the family. Though I am the youngest of, oh, about 100 cousins, we are close, we have each other's back, and we come together in times of joy and of mourning. This was true over this past year.
My grandpa, Dutch Eshbaugh, passed away early this year. We all gathered together and celebrated his 90+ years. We laughed, hugged, cried, told stories, and felt his presence in the space between each of us.
A few months later, my Aunt Maki passed away. I spoke of this in earlier postings.
Last month my cousin, Sgt. Dan Eshbaugh, was killed in a chanook helicopter crash while in service in Iraq. His funeral was my first military funeral experience. It blew my mind. The entire service was like a standing ovation for his service and his life. It is forever etched in my mind looking out my window during the funeral procession and seeing rows of people holding flags and saluting. The procession was led and ended by the patriot guard (big dudes and dudettes on awesome motorcycles). My word for this whole experience is "Overwhelming". Later that evening the family gathered for supper together. We laughed, shared memories, cried, hugged, and embraced life in the moment.
I have a different perspective after this year of losses (and gains). Here are some thoughts I'd like to pass on:
1. Live today as if you are not dead
2. Support your family, friends, neighbors, and people who do not have family, friends, and neighbors--when there is a death. Support by being there and standing for their loved one, marking that moment with them.
3. Your presence at a funeral is a standing ovation witnessed by the ones left behind.
4. Tell people you love them every chance you get
5. Forgive
6. Be present in the moment, slow down & experience people put in your path
7. Ask God to increase your faith
8. Embrace your own history, present & future
9. Think of the person on the inside of the car window in funeral processions. Pull your car over and pay respect & honor. It looks so different on the inside looking out.
10. This world is not our home, we are all in the process of dying...

Life is short, Go Live,

Gretchen